You can find Anthony on the web at:
[Jon Dabach] 00:00
Today on the relationship Revival Show, I’m joined by Anthony Crescenzo. Anthony is a first generation Italian American stand-up comedian, who married a first generation Greek woman in the middle of the pandemic. He’s 10 years older than his wife, and they still live with his mom. He owned the Devil’s Den comedy club in Newark, New Jersey, which closed down right after housing is first, our long comedy special pinball, which is available on YouTube as of March 29. You’re listening to the relationship revival podcast with [Jon Dabach], also known as Mr. Spirituality.
[Jon Dabach] 00:30
That’s me. I’m your host giving you insights and guidance from over 10 years in the field of this amazing journey we call romance on this show, I go over everything you need to know about how to get into a relationship, how to get the most out of a relationship, and sometimes even how to gracefully end a relationship without pulling your hair out and going crazy. And occasionally, I’m even joined by new and old friends who are also relationship experts to bring you guidance and wisdom with new perspectives. Thanks for stopping by. Anthony crescendo. Thanks so much for being
[Anthony Crescenzo] 01:05
Here. Thank you, John. Thanks for having me.
[Jon Dabach] 01:08
Yeah, you know what, after a lot of the different interviews we have that can sometimes get real serious. I thought, you know what, let’s get a comedian on here who knows? Firsthand what it’s like to, to kind of vent about his relationship. And I loved your you know, you are living with your mom with a woman who’s Greek and you’re Italian. And so you guys got married during the pandemic. Did I get that? Right? Yeah, we did. How long? Were you guys dating for?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 01:40
We’re dating, I think, Okay, here’s my whole thing. If I’m with you, and it’s been 18 months, and I haven’t asked you to marry me, I’m not going to. So it was it was I think, right at that 18 month mark. And she was coming. I know for a fact that she knew it was coming because she bought the ring on Amazon. So she definitely knew it was coming.
[Jon Dabach] 02:03
Your own ring?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 02:04
No, no, she bought her ring with my credit card. Okay. Yeah, I’m not big on the whole surprise thing. So I was like, I’m going to do this. And then I, you know, I did the whole traditional thing of like, asking her dad for the hand in marriage, but he doesn’t speak English, specifically.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 02:24
Well, so I was like, terrible. Like, I like you know, your daughter and I been together. I want to marry her. You know that. Right? And then he just looked at me for a minute. And they just talked to me for like, 45 minutes, but I didn’t understand anything he said. And then he gave me a hug. So I was like, I think that means yes, I think that means okay.
[Jon Dabach] 02:51
Did he show up to the way that’s usually the good see, didn’t
[Anthony Crescenzo] 02:54
Even show up to the engagement party, which was the two of us at the wrong place. Because I listened to my mom. Yeah, we’re supposed to. Because, yeah, we go to Six Flags, like all the time and my mom was like, you’re not doing your, your engagement at Six Flags. Like you’re not going to ask her at Six Flags.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 03:12
Or like, you aim she goes, if we’re going to a restaurant No way. We should like, oh, yeah, we don’t want to. Okay, so we ended up going to a restaurant and if you know anything about Greek people, you know that they’re a late all the time but everything. But their Easter is two weeks behind, like everything is like. So what wound up happening was they were late.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 03:34
And then we got there and I got nervous, Stupid me puts a napkin on my lap, because I’m like, isn’t nice place so they put a napkin on my lap. And then I didn’t realize that two hours later, this napkin was going to fall. And when it fell, I picked it up like I went down to my one knee because that’s what you would normally do. And I looked up and I was like all right, I guess we’re doing this because her mom was in my mom’s and she was and I turned around and I grabbed the ring out of my mom’s purse because that’s where I put it all right.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 04:17
She goes let me see that box. I know it says Amazon on it. And I was like, okay, they go I have no idea how to say your last name. We can we do this? And she’s like, give it a ring. It was just
[Jon Dabach] 04:39
It sounds like that engagement had training wheels on it.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 04:42
It was like I let her mother recorded the whole thing because as soon as I got down, everyone just expected it and I was like, Okay, well, I was going to do it anyway. I might as well do it now. But the weirdest part was like, as we’re going through all this, like I really just I said to her, I don’t know how to do this. I have never done this before. And she goes, neither revives me. They’re like, okay.
[Jon Dabach] 05:10
She sounds like a strong personality.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 05:12
Yeah, she’s good. She just, she knew is like, it’s going to be a train wreck. And the problem is, it’s all on him for this particular thing. And I am not the guy you want to be all ever. All the time. She’s like, okay.
[Jon Dabach] 05:30
Yeah. Are you that kind of guy that just screws things up? Why do you say that about yourself?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 05:35
I am. I just I think I’m trying hard enough. I really do. And I’m always like, Alright, I got to give it a little bit more guy. I got to work a little bit harder. And then I try to work a little bit harder. And it’s not our it’s any partner ever. You think you do better. And like, I know you could do better. But I’m trying to like, Yeah, I know. That’s what’s sad. So that I’ll just go through everything.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 06:02
And eventually, I’ll just be like, Hey, this isn’t working. And they’ll be like, what? Why? And I’m like, you could obviously do better than me. This isn’t working. And we didn’t get to that point where her so? Because I guess I’m in good standings for right now. We’ll see how it goes. Eventually, she’s just going to
[Jon Dabach] 06:22
Have another comedy special coming up called you could do better.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 06:26
Yeah, she’s actually said that to me to like, saying, maybe your second special, you should just talk about how you screw everything up all the time. And I’m like, No, my first question was about us. It was supposed to be but that is not what you’re talking about at all.
[Jon Dabach] 06:42
So what’s so what’s your situation now? You’re living at home with your with your mom or her mom?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 06:50
Now it’s my mom. Because my mom has like a McMansions. Okay, let’s live over here. Which is nice, you know, until you’re getting all of that well. Yeah, the green gate when we get again, I’m like when you’re going to leave the house like I can’t with you here right now. I’m like, here’s a TJ Maxx gift card. See yourself outside?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 07:14
I don’t I don’t know. I don’t have I hear a lot of people like always coming up with like those things where it’s like, I call my mom off and be like, Hey, and do you want a pizza? Like we’re ordering pizza? What do you why your pizza? You know, things like that. And it’s like, oh, okay, pizza is code.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 07:30
And we don’t have that. If I tell my mom like, Hey, I’m ordering pizza. What do you want in your pizza? She’ll go why would you want a pizza? There’s so much food in the refrigerator. What is wrong with you? Like any new code?
[Jon Dabach] 07:46
Italian mother problem, right?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 07:48
Yeah, Thai. Mom’s Jewish mom’s like every it’s not just the two of us. We just we go hand in hand but like I find the Greek moms are the same thing. The French moms are the same. They don’t leave the house. Yeah, my mom’s the
[Jon Dabach] 08:02
Same way my Jewish mother she has an emergency brisket in the freezer at all times. Just in case yeah more company comes over it’s fine. Break out the emergency brisket
[Jon Dabach] 08:17
Like in case of emergency brake refrigerator. Yeah. It’s She’s always got it. She’s always got it in the freezer. And it’s coming handy a couple times when like our flights delayed, and we had dinner plan. She’s like, No problem. Come over. I got it. Yeah, it’s a thing.
[Jon Dabach] 08:35
It’s a genius move. I’m like, I want brisket now. Like, what’s up? Can you just come over by? Oh, you don’t live with your mom, though. This isn’t going to work?
[Jon Dabach] 08:44
No, I have four kids. I think I you know, it’s for me. If I if I lived with my mom, even after I got married for a day, my wife probably wouldn’t have gone for it. So you found a keeper for sure.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 08:57
Well, that’s a happens you get to first generations like they both are under that European mindset, which is you leave when your parents kick you out, but they won’t ever kick you out. And I didn’t know that. I tried to leave like many times. I had a job when I was younger that like I was making enough money and I could have left.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 09:15
And my mom’s like, why would you leave? You don’t have another house and like, I can go get an apartment. So why did you raise money and apartment? You stay here until you get married? And I’m like, okay, and then I realized after I don’t know, like 1015 years that American girls will not marry you if you live with your mom. Like it’s just that’s a deal breaker. I didn’t know that.
[Jon Dabach] 09:36
So you had to start like Tinder swiping only on non-Americans that would
[Anthony Crescenzo] 09:43
Do it all the time. Like it was so bad. Like, I have to just go like, I got an email from either you or your dad. That apparently I’m getting like $100,000 I just got to send him my bank requirements or whatever. And then like, you guys are going to send me the money and then I send you have their back or something like that.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 10:05
And they’re like, what are you talking about? That that was the email that I got, like, I’m not related to those people. I’m just weird stuff all the time. Yeah. I was very hesitant about ever dating a first generation. And then I finally just went, you know what, you seem cool. And, and she was like, Oh, I’m a first gen two.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 10:29
And I was like, really? And that was the first time I’d ever dated one. And I was like, oh, wow. Okay, this is, this is what this is like, like somebody that actually understands what I’m going through all the time. That I didn’t expect. I expected what all of my other family members go through, which is a significant other.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 10:49
Who wants like, everything painted in gold all the time. And that’s expected. My wife is like, I am just happy that we don’t live in a shelter. Like I’m okay with this for right now. She’s like, the only thing is, we’re not moving into the house that we own until we can get a toilet and a floor to put the toilet on. Because we also don’t have a toilet or floor. That’s what I meant that
[Jon Dabach] 11:14
You own a house without a floor or a toilet?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 11:19
Yeah. It just in the bathroom. There’s no floor.
[Jon Dabach] 11:23
Okay, it’s just like wardrobe in the bathroom. Yeah. So you have one that’s nonfunctional in the house.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 11:32
Yeah. But I told her I’m like, Well, my bathroom function. She’s like, you go in a bucket? That’s not the same thing. I mean.
[Jon Dabach] 11:41
Yeah. You should.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 11:43
Yeah. Try to get her.
[Jon Dabach] 11:45
What about for your wife? Did you? Did you have any kind of struggles dating before you met your current wife?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 11:53
Oh, yeah. Like? Alright, so I told my wife this. She’s aware of it. I was. How do I say this correctly? I didn’t really have what are known as morals or standards. When I was younger, so I would just like, you know, like, if Tinder was around when I was in my 20s, I would have like, just put in tons and tons of money.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 12:21
Because I would be like, this is this is the new thing. I am absolutely about this. But yeah, I dated a lot. And by dated I meant like, I go to parties, and I’d hook up with a girl. And then we have fun like three times. And then we would just be over each other. Because we realized that we don’t actually talk. So that was always a good did
[Jon Dabach] 12:44
You ever did you ever get in a relationship with someone where you didn’t know their last name after a while? And then you’re like, it’s kind of embarrassing.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 12:54
Yeah, happened. I was just talking about that yesterday, somebody. Alright, so it was this girl. And I don’t mind telling the story of Fallout, right? Because there’s a very good chance that she doesn’t know who I am. Anymore because I wouldn’t blame her. So I was eating this girl at when I was a barback.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 13:13
And yeah, so it was a barback not a bartender below bartender. The person who just like put stuff in for the bartender. So for whatever reason, when a bartender is introduced me to a girl who is apparently giving really good tips, like the girl and the girl will happen to be like, Oh, that guy who’s that like, oh, that’s Anthony. It’s like, alright, great. Is he saying Oh, like, what’s his deal? It’s like, I think he is single.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 13:36
And she comes up to me. She’s like, you’re single, right? I’m like, yeah. Are you interested? Like, no, but she is. And I was like, alright, cool. So like, we started hanging out. And I was dating her for? I don’t know, it’s been three and six months. Like it was a while. And by dating, I mean, like, we would just go out after the bar and you know, have fun on a car. And one day she told me this story.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 14:00
And by the way out as far as I knew her name is Tony. Tony, and yeah, so I was like, okay, he’s dating Tony, whatever, it doesn’t make a difference to me. I made a lot of mistakes with that with that particular girl. Not and I know that I’m hurtful. Oh, my fault. So we go, we’re having fun one night and then she wants to talk to me afterwards. She wants to restore my cool. And she’s telling me the story about her and her boss and like what happened? And I was like, cool. Like, he has what do you think?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 14:28
And I went you know, before even giving it to that question. Let me ask you something. You kept referencing this person Sandra and your story again. I think you did not tell me who Sandra is. Who is this person? Sandra. I’m Sandra. I think your name is Sanders like Yeah.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 14:47
Like I think your name was Tony said no, you’re Tony I know. I know who I am. You need standards. Like you’re going to go I am so sorry. I thought I think your name was Tony this whole time she was Oh my god. No you were so fooling yourself that you just kept referring to yourself in the third person. I was like,
[Jon Dabach] 15:04
You think I’m confident? That’s amazing? No. Oh, wow.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 15:09
Thank you for being on that comment. Because I’m thank you for just saving me from this relationship. And I was like, all right. I’m sorry. That same day, I thought she was Indian the whole time I was with her. Found out that day also that she was Puerto Rican. I had no idea until that, like, she’s telling me this story. And then I see like, Sandra, and I’m like, I’m thinking about another part of something. You put a request. I can’t go. Oh, say,
[Jon Dabach] 15:45
Anthony. I kind of feel like if you were a girl, you probably would have been one of those women that had a toilet baby not realizing you were pregnant.
[Jon Dabach] 15:56
Promenade all over.
[Jon Dabach] 15:59
Luckily, you don’t have a uterus. What about online dating? Do you have more luck with any of that?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 16:09
No. None, actually, okay, here’s his crazy, everybody I know, like though, they do it and a very successful with it to match or plenty of fish or whatever. They’re using bumbled in there. I did not have the experience. One of my friends is actually married to somebody that he met online.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 16:29
Also divorce to that same person. But still, like some of my friends have, like, a good track record, son. Fortunately for me, I only met one girl who was willing to date me from online dating. I trying to think of which side it was, but it doesn’t matter. I once dated a girl who was like, Yeah, this is cool. And I was Alright, great. We went on the date. And look, I was very open to anything.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 16:58
I’m still like, whatever, I don’t care. She came in and she had a wheelchair. She was she was highly capable, very capable. I’m more capable than handy. Not really, she couldn’t handle anything. But that’s not the point. So she, she comes up like she meets me at the place we go there.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 17:16
And I have never seen a handicapped person drive. I didn’t know that they drive differently. I didn’t know how their vehicles operate. She didn’t come in like a van. It was like a regular station wagon. But the station wagon had her wheelchair on top of it. And while we were out on the date, I was like, whatever, that’s fine. No big deal. Like we’re going to hang out. I moved the chair out of the way.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 17:46
And she was like, no, actually one of the chair. I was like, what do you mean one of the chair. And she’s like, she gets the chair. And then she like kind of wiggles herself over to the chair. I was like, this is great. This person. So let you know what this isn’t going to go anywhere. But let’s have fun. Let’s just have some drinks and have a good time. I knew immediately this wasn’t going to work. But I didn’t care. I was like, yes.
[Jon Dabach] 18:08
You knew because you weren’t willing to date someone who had a handicap?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 18:14
No, actually, sorry. Mike came out? No. It had nothing to do with her being incapable. As soon as she rolled in, I just looked at I was like, Oh, all right, your profile picture look different. Gotcha. Not sharing her profile picture. Granted, but also like her face looked a little different. I was like, anatomy as I experienced, like somebody walks in the room, knowing exactly what like the profile picture maybe was taken 510 years ago.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 18:46
Yeah, like, whatever. But then this happened. And I was like, all right. You know what, let’s just have a good time. Let’s just have fun. We’re both here anyway. I don’t know. Have you ever walked out? I’ve never done this. But have you ever just walked out on a person when they came in on a date? Because I don’t have that in me? Yeah, I’m sure there’s people that do it. But I was like, you know what, there’s nobody else in this restaurant.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 19:10
I’m going to look really stupid. So I might as well just go through with this. For sure. And then when she got when she came down to the lake, she came down, she’s rolling in. And we have a couple of drinks and she like starts bubbling out of her teeth while she’s laughing, which was adorable.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 19:24
I’ve never seen it like all the fluids are coming out of her teeth like this, but like its air it Yeah, it was weird. So then at the end of the night, like, you know, I’m wheeling her back to her car. And then she’s like, do you want to see it now? Like, like how the wheelchair gets back on? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, yeah, why not?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 19:47
So all of a sudden I Okay, so this is how it goes right there. She’s like, get into she has to wiggle herself into the driver’s seat. And then from the driver’s seat. She has like this remote control that picks up a wheelchair. And no joke does exactly what it’s
[Anthony Crescenzo] 20:11
Like, I am so happy I already decided not to date this transformer. I think even if I was excited once I heard that not even so I just heard it on my phone are gone now. I just there was nothing I could do about it. I’m like, there’s no way I could have continued with this. I felt bad because I felt like I am such a shallow person. But I don’t know, I have no idea. Is that shallow? Or is it just?
[Jon Dabach] 20:38
I mean, a little bit. Yeah. But the listen if you’re not attracted to her, regardless of the Handi capable than Yeah, for sure. But I think I think you know, being honest with yourself, some people might have like, tried to continue that relationship. There was a whole episode on Curb Your Enthusiasm where he tried to, like, do it. And he realized I can’t do it. You know, it’s like, it’s worse to drag it on for sure. You know?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 21:05
So I was thinking, yeah, amazing. You have an out clause whenever you want to go, I’m like, I want to be here with you. Thank you for like, just thank you for spending another day with me. Thank you for just wanting to be with me because I desperately want to be with you. That’s how I look at it all the time.
[Jon Dabach] 21:27
What you just said, Are you still hitting the clubs with as a comedian, is how’s that work for you and your wife? I mean, you probably are on the road a bit.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 21:38
I yeah, I’d probably. Let’s say I have a show I do regularly every Monday, which is a lie that, like actually going there. And then on the weekends, like I’ll travel she comes with me not all the time. Like she goes one show a week maximum. And then she’ll like she’ll take the equipment if if need be like, I’m the one picking up most of the time when I blew my back out.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 22:02
She actually helped me and like set everything up. And she like take tickets, but she’s not. She’s very introverted. So she’s not real great at like, the mingling aspects like, I can’t really have her on the door, unless they give her a script, which I’ve never had that experience before. But she had been pretty good. She wants she watched me freak out one night. We both know that I have a fear of heights. But my bigger fear of heights and it’s ridiculous. I go to Six Flags all the time.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 22:34
I did no reason I should have a fear of heights. But I do. She makes a mess of me and take me on the Ferris wheel. Like she’s like, come on, come on, just come with me. And that’s where it strikes. The worst is the Ferris wheel. Just because I’m on there for too long. And I’m looking down. But where I realized I have a new problem is when we’re driving through like the Appalachians or any kind of mountain Catskills the same thing.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 23:03
And I didn’t know this until we were it was me, her and another comic that I was working with. Also a woman. And we’re, we’re just driving, I’m driving, and I start to realize I’m having a panic attack. And I’m like, Oh my God, this I forgot that I can’t drive through the mountains. Every time I look at the side of the road, I start freaking out. And I’m deaf. So I had the hearing aids and it’s time, and I full blown because now it’s echoing back into me. And I’m, ah like, we’re not going to die if you don’t kill us because you’re driving. And I’m like, I know.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 23:44
And then I forget if it was her or the or the other woman who like just went launches pull over and you know, we’ll drive. So I pull over and they’re driving the car for the rest of the way home. And I turned to her when we get home because I’m still I’m having a full blown panic attack in the backseat. And I’m rip out my headphones. And I’m like, I can’t take this. Why? Why am I having all these problems? This is insane. And we get back home and I’m like, oh my god, this is so bad. I’m like, I don’t need to be such a misogynist. Say what are you talking about?
[Anthony Crescenzo] 24:19
You’re a misogynist. And I was like, well, there must be a misogynist because it was a woman driving and I started freaking out. You weren’t we were you weren’t freaking out because it was a woman driving. You were freaking out because we were driving on a mountain and you have problems with heights.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 24:36
And I’m like, oh, yeah, that makes way more sense. You honestly thought that that’s what misogyny was. Well, yeah, it just means like you don’t trust them. And she goes, you wouldn’t trust it. Anybody had nothing to do with it being a woman did it like, actually you
[Anthony Crescenzo] 24:54
Make a very good point. It had nothing to do with it. She goes you’re just she goes you’re so adorable A big thank you.
[Jon Dabach] 25:04
I think you’re very lucky that you found someone that finds that adoring adorable. Some people wouldn’t have the patience for that
[Anthony Crescenzo] 25:15
She signed over a closer she can’t divorce me. So I think we’re okay.
[Jon Dabach] 25:20
Well, you’re your comedy special drops, March 29, which probably will be published. By the time this airs. It’s called pinball. You can find it on YouTube. Is that right? Yeah,
[Anthony Crescenzo] 25:33
We put it out for free. We’re supposed to put it out. We were supposed to put it on Amazon. That was the original goal, but the producer died. So I was like, you know, whatever. I’m going to I’m going to put this one out. We’ll have fun with it. And honestly, I just want I just want people that want to watch it to just go Yeah, go ahead. We have a sizzle reel out already. So they’re probably too by the time this comes out. So that those are fun. I’ve been sending those out and getting good responses to it. So hopefully, hopefully everybody enjoys the special. I know everybody that came was like been begging me for it because we did like almost a year to release it.
[Jon Dabach] 26:08
Oh, wow. That’s great. That’s exciting. I’ll check it out when it comes out. Thanks so much for being on the show.
[Anthony Crescenzo] 26:14
Yeah, thank you for having me on the show. This is fun.
[Jon Dabach] 26:18
If you’re interested in learning how to get the absolute most out of your romantic relationships then you’re in luck because I have put together a free workshop or masterclass if you will about three secrets that people in happy relationships have discovered.
[Jon Dabach] 26:18
You can view the workshop and mister spirituality.com/three secrets again, it’s completely free. Just go there and watch it. It’ll help you on your journey give you some wisdoms and things to think about. The website again is mrspirituality.com/three secrets. That’s mrspirituality.com/the Number three, the word secrets. It’s all yours. Enjoy.