Where you can find Leeron:
[Jon Dabach] 00:00
Today on the relationship Revival Show I’m joined by Leeron Tal divorce Coach Leon has been a single mother for five years and has found a way to utilize all of her experiences The Good, the Bad and the hilarious to use by helping others. The runs positive approach turns overwhelming to empowerment as she focuses people on what’s next. Her strategic planning avoids wasteful spending in the divorce process, while building the support team that those going through divorce often so desperately need.
[Jon Dabach] 00:27
Her background in working with children and families, along with getting her own two kids through the past five years, has given her the experience to be able to guide anyone through this challenging process. You’re listening to the relationship revival podcast with Jon Dabach, also known as Mr. Spirituality. That’s me.
[Jon Dabach] 00:43
I’m your host giving you insights and guidance from over 10 years in the field of this amazing journey we call romance on this show, I go over everything you need to know about how to get into a relationship, how to get the most out of a relationship, and sometimes even how to gracefully end a relationship without pulling your hair out and going crazy. And occasionally, I’m even joined by new and old friends who are also relationship experts to bring you guidance and wisdom with new perspectives.
[Jon Dabach] 01:12
Thanks for stopping by Leeron, thank you so much for being here. They were on Tom, my divorce concierge. That’s the name of the business. I’m still married, I don’t have a divorce. But thank God, but for a lot of, you know, a lot of the people in the relationship counseling, couples counseling relationship coaching world, there’s an inevitable truth that some relationships cannot be saved, should not be saved.
[Jon Dabach] 01:38
And at a certain point, you have to kind of figure out how to separate in an amicable way, or at least in a way, that’s, you know, you get out with as few scars as possible. And so we talk to divorce attorneys, mediation attorneys, and today, Lee Ron is with us, she is a divorce coach, is that correct? Yes. So right off the bat, let’s start with what the heck is a divorce coach, because a lot of people, it’s gonna be a completely new concept. Yeah. And
[Leeron Tal] 02:09
It is relatively new of a concept. But in all honesty, it is basically what I wish I had five years ago when I was going through a divorce. So it’s basically similar to a life coach. But with a niche and a specific specification in divorce. There is a certification for it.
[Leeron Tal] 02:28
So basically, my goal as a divorce coach is to really help with kind of like strategic planning, of helping you understand where to begin, I don’t give legal advice or financial advice, but I help put it all together because at the end of the day, the attorneys can really only give legal advice, and every bit different entity can really only help with what their expertise is.
[Leeron Tal] 02:51
So I kind of come in and come in, in the beginning, when I that’s my favorite time to work with a client is right in the beginning, when it’s so overwhelming, and you don’t know where to begin, I help with really, let’s map it out. Let’s see what areas of your life we can help and whether it’s personal growth, development, but even just coming down to how do we know how to prepare for meeting with a lawyer, because sometimes the first call being a lawyer can be really expensive. And that, you know, an email can cost you as much as an hour session with a coach at the end of the day. So,
[Jon Dabach] 03:26
So what kind of you said, your court, you coordinate, you kind of prod you know, kind of give me some details? Like let’s say, first of all, who are your typical clients? Is it mostly women? Is it half and half? You know, what’s the’s the process of someone coming to you and finding?
[Leeron Tal] 03:44
Well, my background as well, I worked in early childhood development for many years. So I have that child development background. So kind of naturally, my clientele and how I’ve been building my business has been a lot of word of mouth, and has been a lot of mothers.
[Leeron Tal] 03:59
Because I do tend to help with the understanding of the the transitions that kids are going through and helping establish I mean, I’ve even helped a client write a script on how to tell their kids, they’re getting a divorce. I definitely not opposed to working with men, but my niche has really been mothers for the most part.
[Leeron Tal] 04:18
And a lot of what to say just statistically, it really is the fact that in fur takes about four years if somebody is unhappy in their marriage, generally for four years, it’s a lot of talking yourself out of things, kind of negotiating with your inner voice. So you might feel like what you say four
[Jon Dabach] 04:37
Years, four years in the marriage four years of a divorce? What do you mean by?
[Leeron Tal] 04:42
About four years of your marriage? So, you know, for four years, it typically is the time where at that point, if somebody’s unhappy, you tend to get into this. Well, what would it look like? And you start when you when it’s all about the unknowns, it’s all about the fear of the unknown.
[Leeron Tal] 05:00
So when you start to think, where would I live? How much money would I make? What if there was another woman involved? All of those thoughts are so scary and overwhelming that people tend to just talk themselves out of it and say, I’ll just stay.
[Leeron Tal] 05:10
And so that’s where a lot of it is just let’s educate yourself, what would a living situation look like for you? Have you talked to a lender to even understand you know, how much your house is worth? Do you? You know, so a lot of it in the beginning is just educating yourselves and helping them kind of map out where to focus their energy at first, while also focusing on them emotionally, I’m not a therapist, I think that everybody should also be in therapy 100%.
[Leeron Tal] 05:39
But when it comes to really understanding what is best for you and your and your children, it’s hard to make those big life decisions when you aren’t like your life is falling apart.
[Jon Dabach] 05:52
So it sounds like you actually deal with moms, even before the divorce proceedings start then. So when they’re kind of unhappy, and unaware of if it’s possible, what it looks like, that’s sometimes when they’re introduced to you in some way, or they find you when they’re considering Yeah,
[Leeron Tal] 06:08
So there’s a part of that I’m not one to say if they should leave or shouldn’t leave. But there is definitely that peace of like, I’m curious what my life could look like. And I’m, I’m an outside person that doesn’t know them and doesn’t know their relationships.
[Leeron Tal] 06:22
And I can kind of at least talk to him about the good and the bad sides of everything, and where to begin and some research to that they can do. But I also work with people who are just, oh, my gosh, I’m divorced, all of a sudden, my husband left me or, or things are happening quickly, I need to come up with the plan right away, or, unfortunately, a lot of people who just don’t have any idea what their financial situation is. So we have to start working with an account, you know, so it’s more about helping them understand where to begin.
[Leeron Tal] 06:50
That’s reallyso it doesn’t it’s it sounds like kind of whatever they need, is there an emphasis do you find with your clients, typically where they, where they need help on the emotional side? And that kind of side? With their kids with the family structure? Or is there a lot of financial chaos that needs to kind of be taken care of first,
[Leeron Tal] 07:11
Every situation is obviously so different. But I will say a trend of what I’m finding is more of at what point do I get a lawyer? What’s the best lawyer because you know, some people need that shark, some people don’t, you know, and I have now worked with a few people that I can kind of say that I vetted that I know, you know, have different specialties and different strengths.
[Leeron Tal] 07:33
So it’s a matter of helping them maybe find the right person. And then really, I like to really work with them on coming up with a plan of I do a lot of visualization. So where do you see yourself? What is what your situation look is like? Helping them understand what a home might look like? Just them in their children?
[Leeron Tal] 07:53
Right? It’s it takes a long time. It’s a really, I mean, it’s the second, it’s known as the second most traumatic experience after the death of a loved one, it’s they’re going through grief, right? So the grief cycle. So it’s helping them come to terms with the fact that like, you know, if in this situation, they’re leaving a toxic relationship, or an abusive relationship, helping them understand that this is a good thing for them. And that they’re, it’s about starting their life over and how do they want that to look?
[Leeron Tal] 08:21
So we start a lot with that. But then there’s also very kind of factual things of I need to come up with an agreement. Okay, do you what would a schedule, what would be the ideal schedule, so I help them come up with what their ideal situation would be, so that by the time they go to their lawyer, they already know what they want.
[Leeron Tal] 08:39
And they’re not spending all that time and energy, waiting for a lawyer to respond, asking a million questions about what’s best for their, their kids, because at the end of the day, that’s really not the job of the attorney. So coming up with that, and then little things like, I always end every session with an action plan. So they are, they’re literally have very specific steps that they need to take.
[Leeron Tal] 09:00
And it might be something small, like somebody’s living in the home that they were with, as a family and now the husband moved out and they can’t change their feeling in their home, their energy, they’re still reminded of them. So their homework might be go to home goods and buy new throw pillows, or change an area of your house a little bit or, you know, organize one closet, you know, there’s little things that they can do to just help them start to understand their next step and where they are in their life.
[Jon Dabach] 09:31
Yeah, I’ve seen that too, with clients where we talk about the ghost of the relationship, floating around the house and kind of rearing its ugly head once in a while. And it’s obviously yeah, it’s just it’s it’s even more difficult when you have kids or even in new divorces where there’s no children.
[Jon Dabach] 09:48
I had a client once where they had wedding gifts and wedding invitations in one room and like they couldn’t bring themselves to clean it out because the relationship was still all kind Yeah.
[Leeron Tal] 10:01
Who takes the ketubah? Like, there’s like things like that, that come up that you’re like, What do I do with these things? Yeah, yeah.
[Jon Dabach] 10:08
I mean, who at that point that question? Who wants it? Right? Yeah. That’s so interesting, okay, I’m starting to get an idea of what this looks like. Give me some examples, either from your own life or from another clients, we’ll leave it anonymous to protect everybody, but mistakes that you see, or you’ve made yourself where you wish you you knew, you know, knowing what you know, now, what you would have done differently? Oh, gosh.
[Leeron Tal] 10:39
I think when you are, in the beginning, you’re focused so much on your kids. You know, women and men focus so much on your kids. And in that moment, you might be like, oh, my God, I can’t even imagine dating or I can’t even imagine anything. And, you know, your focus might be to have your kids as much as you can.
[Leeron Tal] 11:02
And I’ll tell you five years later, it is okay to have that break sometimes. And if you actually do want to date, or you want to have a relationship or do other things, those things are important. And so that’s something you don’t really think about as much, or what it might look like when your ex has a spouse, and how that introduction would happen. And you don’t think that far ahead. In the beginning, those thoughts are just so seem so far away, but they’re not always very far away. And so there’s a lot of things that would have been great to know, you know.
[Jon Dabach] 11:35
So just kind of coming up with that plan, that foresight of seeing, well, I think I want full, full custody, and he can only visit the kids once every 17 months, but maybe
[Leeron Tal] 11:46
It’s not ever going to have time to date anyone and you know, you’re like, oh, wait.
[Jon Dabach] 11:52
Do you get into that second stage of life with your divorce days? What it’s like to start dating again? I mean, when does your because it’s not as clean cut as a divorce attorney where it’s like, okay, you’re officially divorced, unless there’s a new order or a new demand, we don’t really talk, it seems like your role might have a little bit more fluidity and when you know where you are, or what they can use you. So yeah,
[Leeron Tal] 12:17
That’s why I don’t do necessarily like packages or anything. And it’s really customized. So I have some people who really need a lot of work in that beginning time when they’re getting ready for all the legal proceedings. But I do have a couple of clients that now have gone through that.
[Leeron Tal] 12:30
And we’ve kind of, you know, check in here and there, but I’m not really working with them. And now they’re all of a sudden back into like, oh, my gosh, I’m ready to date. And they’re coming back. I wouldn’t say I’m a dating coach in that sense, but definitely trying to just helping them go through this stage of life.
[Leeron Tal] 12:48
Because when you when you get divorced, you don’t I don’t think people realize it’s not like, oh, this that all the things this person did when we were married, that they couldn’t stand if they leave the house, they’re gone, you know, you still have communication was the issue in your marriage, you have to communicate even more with her divorcing children, mostly right?
[Leeron Tal] 13:08
And so it’s like, if this goes on, and it changes, and as your kids grow, you know, my children were three and seven when we first split up, and now they’re 14 and eight. So, you know, they’re seeing things so differently now in this stage of everything than they did back then. So there’s a lot of different ways when it comes to working with kids. I really, really love helping parents work with their children and how kind of tried to point out maybe their perspective. The kid’s perspective. Yeah, because
[Jon Dabach] 13:41
Talk more about that. Tell me more. Yeah. Cuz
[Leeron Tal] 13:43
I think, you know, the way that the kids see the divorce changes as they get older, right? So when they’re little, it’s like, Where’s daddy, where’s the family, like, what’s happening and then they get used to things and then there’s things change, you know, and all of a sudden, they start to get to know and see the parents as individuals.
[Leeron Tal] 14:05
And then it’s kind of like, oh, I can see why you’re not together or it might be something more of like you know, I think also seen as role models of like, you know, I’m a I’m a single mom with two boys and I think they’re seeing a lot of like, this is what a woman can do on her own and things just change as they get older and their perspective of divorce and their needs from a from a preteen, you know, their needs of their father and mother are different and so, you know, I have my eight year old says things like, you know, sometimes I wish we were a normal family. I have to say, well, what is normal?
[Leeron Tal] 14:41
You know, and what does that mean? And I think there’s the rate of divorce has has increased has skyrocketed since the pandemic, and a lot of my most of my clients, it was like, Oh, he worked a lot. I worked a lot we were home and everything was fine. Now I’m with him every day and I’m we’re like, we don’t like each other. You know?
[Jon Dabach] 15:00
Oh, yeah, I see that a lot with empty nesters too. Yeah, where the women are like, right, I can only afford to love him for three hours a day. And now he’s home all day. So what am I supposed to do with the rest of my day? Totally. It’s truly difficult developing that relationship. And I think just,
[Leeron Tal] 15:15
Yeah, so just understanding that you think like, oh, my kids are fine. We told them, they weren’t that bad, they’re fine. Well, in two years, they might have a completely different outlook on everything. You know, so I’m a huge advocate of get your kids in therapy. My kids were have been in therapy for five years. And so they’re very expressive, and I’m huge on that for everyone. Unfortunately, it’s hard to get a to find child psychologists, everybody’s booked.
[Jon Dabach] 15:41
Yeah, it’s an underserved community. Yeah, for sure. It’s very specialized. And, and there’s also different styles too. I mean, you know, some use play therapy, some do it a little differently. Virtual versus in person was a bit, you know, I, I with my own kids, I mean, virtual therapy for a kid is they don’t have that kind of attention skills. So it’s really difficult for them to, you know, navigate now they also adapt better, like, you know, when the world went to zoom. Kids seem to, I mean, they adopted a lot faster than some of us, but, but it is still difficult. For sure it
[Leeron Tal] 16:14
Is. And I think that, you know, and not every child is open to going to therapy, it takes time for them, it’s hard, they don’t all open up. So however we can, however, I can help empower the parents to have the right I mean, and things I’ve learned, like, even just the fact of when kids come home, and they transition from one home to the other, you know, you want to just be like, how was it?
[Leeron Tal] 16:35
What you I always wanted to know, like, what you ate, you know, like, random things, just to know what I’m going to feed them. But those things are really overwhelming for the kids. And so, you know, I like to do something like, you know, they come home and they need they need they have this like wonky period going from one to the other, it’s a different environment. And they need to be given that space.
[Leeron Tal] 16:55
So whether it’s coming home, and like everybody has their alone time. My little trick for a while was to bake brownies. Because it was like, if you come inside and you’ve smell brownies in the house, how could you be in a bad mood? Like how could you not want to? It’s comforting.
[Leeron Tal] 17:10
So it’s kind of like everyone do your own things. The brownies are in the oven. And it was like when the brownies were ready, we all came together. And then so I think just teaching parents, it’s really hard to do, because you have zero control when they’re at the other parents house.
[Leeron Tal] 17:25
Yeah. And your during COVID was really hard, right? You wanted to know, like, where were you? Who are you around? Like, it was so stressful. So yeah, it causes more anxiety for the kids to have to remember what they did. I’ve, you know, it’s a nice thing is to teach your child to have a diary or a little journal and let them maybe write, you know, and they need to be able to remember kind of how they’re feeling everywhere, you know, things like that.
[Leeron Tal] 17:50
So I like to empower the parents to try to give them some good tools to help their kids, not just rely on therapists, you know, but see how they can help you.
[Jon Dabach] 18:00
And therapy’s typically once a week. Yeah, problems come up seven days a week with kids. So it’s nice. That’s that’s a’s a good thought. Is the reason you became a divorce coach because of your own divorce? Or was there another I mean, what was the road like for you and this decision to do this?
[Leeron Tal] 18:18
So you know, I, I had my own experience, and when the pandemic hit, and a lot of women I knew and friends I knew and stuff, were struggling in their marriages, they were kind of naturally coming to me and asking for advice. And when I was in the role of preschool director every now and then apparent at the end of the conference would be like, how did you start? How did you do it?
[Leeron Tal] 18:40
You know, like, people were always kind of picking my brain. So I’ve always been in that position of people seeking my my help, right? And I looked up a book for one of my friends, I looked at the book uncoupled, which is by Sarah Davison. And I went on her website and saw that she started this International School of divorce coaching of certification, and I started looking into her and that’s how I was like, oh, my gosh, first of all, it was COVID.
[Leeron Tal] 19:07
And I had some time I wasn’t working and I thought, you know, I’m going to do this program, if anything, it’ll help me with my own personal growth in my divorce. And I was just like, this is it I can actually make money and make this a career. You know, I this is amazing. I’m already doing this. I’m already basically coaching everybody. So that’s how it started. And yeah,
[Jon Dabach] 19:31
That’s great. That’s the best way things start where it’s just naturally you find yourself attracted to something and, and it falls in like, I love hearing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, being on the other end of it now, as a single parent, what do you feel like are some of the challenges? Thankfully, I’m still married, so I, I hope to never know but what are the challenges of a single parent that you might not see coming in? If you’ve only been married and kind of acted as a unit,
[Leeron Tal] 20:05
I think the biggest thing, and the most important thing is to learn how to ask for help. Because it always happens that you have to be in two places at the same time. Right? I mean, if you have more than one child, they all one has to be at this sports, the other one has to be at this rehearsal or whatever.
[Leeron Tal] 20:21
And so, really getting good about learning how to ask for help, I think is so important in creating that community. I, one of the things that I’m really focusing on now, which I’m just seeing, it’s just been such a need is finding ways to bring people together.
[Leeron Tal] 20:37
So I’m doing a lot more I’m doing more community events, I have a retreat that I’m going to be doing soon. Because it’s hard to be that friend, you don’t want to be that friend, that’s like always talking about your divorce with a married friends. It’s, yeah, you know, that person is draining, you don’t want to be that draining person. So finding other people that are in the same place as you is really important.
[Leeron Tal] 20:59
And yeah, and asking for help, knowing were understanding that, like, your house will be messy sometimes. And that’s okay. And where are your kind of where are you willing to let go, you might not have the best lunches every day, or you might not, you know, trying to be as super of a mom, as you were, maybe when you had another person that was helping, you have to like give yourself grace.
[Leeron Tal] 21:24
And like, for me, I was like, I am booking housekeeper every week, like I work full time, I don’t want to spend my weekend cleaning the house, when I don’t have the kids. And when I have the kids, I want to be with the kids. And so that was something that was like really important for me.
[Leeron Tal] 21:38
And I cut out costs in other areas. But that was one thing. I was like, I’m not letting that go. So you got to figure out what are your non negotiables to help you live the life you want? You know?
[Jon Dabach] 21:51
And that’s part of what you do, too. You map that out with your clients, you kind of see where their priorities are, if it means allocating funds or moving things around. So they have time for themselves. Is that kind of part of the processes?
[Leeron Tal] 22:03
Absolutely. You know, everyone always talks about self-care, self-care, but it’s, it’s not. It’s not. I think the mentality when you hear self-care as a mom is as a parent, it’s like, oh, I don’t have time to go hang out at the spa. You know, self-care is listening to an iPad, podcast or audio book on, you know, some sort of personal growth while you’re cooking.
[Leeron Tal] 22:25
That, to me is self-care. Right? That’s me doing something for myself. And my kids, come talk to me, and I’m like, free busy. But, you know, finding those moments, you know, everybody can carve it out. Really taking care of yourself is so important.
[Jon Dabach] 22:47
What about society and community? I mean there, do you feel that they’re sensitive towards single parents talking about schools, you know, or religious organizations like churches and synagogues? I, you know, it’s a question I’ve never had to ask before. But now that I’m talking to you, I’m like, is there a stigma there? Is there some open arms that are surprising? What’s your experience been? Like?
[Leeron Tal] 23:14
It’s actually very interesting that you’re bringing that up? Because this has been a really hot topic lately. Because I’ve also worked at synagogues in schools for many years before. The answer is no. And I was working for doing playgroups for Jewish community before this.
[Leeron Tal] 23:30
And you know, they were doing so much training on Dei. And it’s all about, you know, how do you welcome a lot of schools are focusing on how do you welcome families and the LGBTQ community? How do you welcome families of different race?
[Leeron Tal] 23:43
Nobody talks about the single parent. And I think that that’s a really a shame, because at the end of the day, how are your registration forms done? You know, if you’re a family, and there’s so many unique different types of family, if you’re going to a family camp, and you’re, you’re going and then the ex is coming with his next thing, you know, it’s like three adults, they usually only give the option for two adults on a lot of forms.
[Leeron Tal] 24:07
And so, I do think that as much as so many institutions are focusing on all of their ways of being inclusive, there is a and when you call things like family, Shabbat or family programming or things like that, sometimes it feels bad for the kids to go to something we’re all the men are hanging out here, all the women are hanging out, they’re all it’s all these nucular families.
[Leeron Tal] 24:30
So I think that’s absolutely something that a lot of organizations really need a look at their demographic and I’m and you know, that it’s not even divorce. I mean, I know three moms at my son’s Middle School who all lost their husbands within the last five years like and there’s a lot of women who are single by choice who are who had their careers and never met someone and had kids so although those you know, divorced, being single by choice or Windows has definitely different With dynamics, there’s a lot of common things there. At the end of the day, you’re one person raising your children. And it’s a big community. If you really I think people need to look at who is their demographic and start really paying attention.
[Jon Dabach] 25:14
It’s been I did work as a community organizer at one point in my my life. And I, you know, it didn’t come up. But thinking about it. Now, I’m kind of putting on my old hat, you know, like, Oh, my God, if someone brought that up, and that was a, you know, even if it was just one person that committed but especially if there was five or 10, and it was like actually a decent percentage of people. What do you think is a way to be more sensitive? Is it just semantics? So like changing the word family event to something else? Or is it not having those events?
[Leeron Tal] 25:47
Or having a board meeting or a committee meeting and offering childcare? Like, everywhere should have or for staff think of how many of your staff might be single parents? And is it like if you have to get a babysitter to go to a PTA meeting, or to be involved and contribute and to volunteer, and you have to get a babysitter for that? Right? Like, that’s, those are little things that I think a community should always offer, or at least some way of connecting people together to be able to carpool or help or things like that. Yeah, I think, well, what about
[Jon Dabach] 26:21
This, let’s, let’s stay specific, because I’m kind of curious. It’s always fun to think in practical terms, like, let’s say you have an event coming up, and it’s like family dinner tonight. And it might be a little offensive or confusing for the kids or the parents who are single, would you? Is there a better way to phrase it? Or do you think not having those events? Or having alternate events? I’m kind of,
[Leeron Tal] 26:43
I don’t I don’t think that I think Listen, the word family, me and my boys were a family. Right? So I don’t think maybe that wasn’t the best example. On one hand. Maybe it’s more about things that have to maybe more couple type of event. I don’t know. I you know, I?
[Leeron Tal] 27:01
Yeah, I like I know that when I was working as a preschool director, we always did like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and like, some families were like, we shouldn’t do that anymore. That’s offensive to families. And it was my I remember, I had a family that had two moms, and they were like, no, don’t not do Father’s Day we, you know, like, we’ll send the uncle or I don’t know, like, it can’t just say, they know, it’s there. It’s everywhere.
[Leeron Tal] 27:26
You know, sometimes it’s just about having the conversation. Yeah, being considerate and starting that conversation. I mean, I’ve gone to Father Son events that at schools where some of you know, my friends, kids don’t have fathers, or sometimes just the fathers on vacation. It’s not even as dramatic, but like those kids feel left out. And so I’m very quick to adopt another kid for the night.
[Leeron Tal] 27:48
And it’s like, hey, we’re all one family, you know, like having that attitude. And I think you’re right, I think the board, or whoever’s in charge of that community program, just having an open dialogue, where it feels like it’s a safe place to talk about those concerns. It doesn’t happen often.
[Leeron Tal] 28:04
Sometimes you’re lucky. And there are people there who take it upon themselves to, you know, make that change and be proactive, but sometimes not. I mean, you know, we’ve all, I don’t know, I was a chubby little Jewish kid who never got picked for sports. I know what it’s like to feel left out. So it’s like, you know, when you see that kid left out for even for five minutes, that’s painful. Yeah.
[Leeron Tal] 28:22
You know, I think another big, like mitzvah that synagogues could do in all honesty is help bring kids together in the sense that like, I’ll give you an example. My, you know, my son is 13. Kids that age, they don’t talk about feelings and stuff with other especially boys, right with their friends. Yeah. But, you know, one of the biggest stressors for him is like, its spirit week at school and my jerseys at the other house, or like, that stuff is really frustrating for them.
[Leeron Tal] 28:54
Or in the morning, he wants to wear something, he doesn’t have it here and like all hell breaks loose over here, because oh my god, the thing he wanted is at the other house, you know, and he came home one day, and he was like, Oh my gosh, Dylan had with talking about how frustrated he was that his thing is shirt was at the other day, and I was like, oh my god, me too.
[Leeron Tal] 29:11
And now they’re friends. And they would have never known that their parents were divorced. And now they’ve become best buddies. And they ride their bikes together. And you know, I got to meet his mom and I’m like, sweet, our kids can be latchkey kids together.
[Leeron Tal] 29:25
We’re all about it. But like, finding ways to connect the kids, with other families that have a single parent household, I think is so so great. And it doesn’t have to be a formal support group, but even just finding those opportunities for short. Similar. They need that community as well, because they do they feel different than other kids.
[Jon Dabach] 29:51
Very cool. Well, I think it’s so smart. I mean, it’s also so much more affordable and economical to hire a divorce coach. So now that I’m hearing everything you do for one or two hours a session, just like right at the beginning, to get an idea of what it is that you’re going about to go through and different things that are about to happen before you talk to an attorney, or at the same time, I mean, there’s just so there’s so much that can happen and does happen.
[Jon Dabach] 30:21
And it’s, it goes, it’s you’re right, the lines kind of get blurred like what that’s legal, that’s emotional. That’s just the support. That’s just a life thing, and having someone who has been through it, and who does it professionally, because there are things you forget, there are things that, you know, you’re like, Oh, I didn’t think of that. And like, like you said, just something as simple as, yes, custody sounds great.
[Jon Dabach] 30:44
And that’s where you’re at. But try to put yourself 10 years in the future, or five years in the future where you’re ready to date and your kids are in high school, and you have a lot of time where you want to go and explore. I think that’s so smart. I wish you the best of luck with finding more and more moms to help because I think more people can can use your service. Thank
[Leeron Tal] 31:06
You. Thank you so much.
[Jon Dabach] 31:09
Is there one piece of like really good advice you want to share with someone if they’re looking into it? Like, if someone could, if someone could grab you by, you know, by your coat lapels and pull you aside, right at the beginning of when your separation started and said, don’t do this? Or you have to do this? Is there one thing that you think is like universal for every mom to hear?
[Leeron Tal] 31:33
Listen to your inner voice. Don’t, don’t ignore it, and don’t negotiate with it. Saying yes to things is important. Say yes. You know, try you know, this is I think that divorce has a sick stigma of being very negative. And failure. I mean, even my mom at one point was like, don’t use the word divorce in your company. That’s such a negative word. It’s like what? That’s, you know,
[Jon Dabach] 32:03
[Leeron Tal] 32:05
And, and honestly, this is my thing. I think that if you are lucky to find that person that you I am a true romantic, I’m not anti-marriage at all. But how many things in life? Are you supposed to do the first time once and get it? Right? Like, that’s a big expectation. So you know, if you married and you and you have your kids and you just to look, you don’t need to have regrets and think, oh, I should have left sooner.
[Leeron Tal] 32:32
No. Now you know what marriage is about, you know, the right now your picker can be better, right? Or whatever, whatever was it was so following your gut listening to your inner voice and knowing that this can be looked at as an opportunity, not a negative thing. An opportunity to do
[Jon Dabach] 32:51
Great, so yeah, great advice. Well, Lee Ron tall if you want to look into her and work with her some more, she’s at my divorce. Concierge.com She’s also starting to hold you we’re holding like more community type events. What’s I think you call the divorce dish?
[Leeron Tal] 33:08
Yeah, I do once a month I call the divorce dish and it’s pick a coffee shop. I’ve been doing him in Burbank, but I’m definitely open to moving to other communities. And it’s basically an hour and a half. I’m sitting there having coffee people come and we did give free advice and it’s become a really nice community builder.
[Leeron Tal] 33:26
And I’ve seen a lot of nice friendships where people were like, Oh, you’re on the same weekend track as me we’re getting drinks and now you know people are making friends and so there’s that and in May I’m going to be doing a one day retreat. So all that information will be on my website.
[Jon Dabach] 33:41
Fantastically Ron, thank you so much for joining me and it was it was a pleasure to learn a little bit more about the divorce coaching world and and I appreciate your time thank you
[Leeron Tal] 33:51
For having me.
[Jon Dabach] 33:52
If you’re interested in learning how to get the absolute most out of your romantic relationships then you’re in luck because I have put together a free workshop or masterclass if you will about three secrets that people in happy relationships have discovered.
[Jon Dabach] 34:08
You can view the workshop and mrspirituality.com/three secrets again, it’s completely free. Just go there and watch it it’ll help you on your journey give you some wisdom. Some things to think about. The website again is Mr. spirituality.com/three secrets. That’s mrspirituality.com/the Number three, the word secrets. It’s all yours. Enjoy.